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I Dream of Izabael This is the place to ask your questions directly to Izabael DaJinn *OR* discuss the demon/daemon IZABAEL. Izabael's Genie-Demon F.A.Q.

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Old 12-30-2009, 06:54 AM   #11
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Dream Journal

This one is from this morning; 12/08/08. It seems like one of the more symbolic dreams so I'm really wondering about this one in particular.

This dream is totally silent for me at all times. I'm suddenly aware that I'm with my wife in the woods. [edit: She's in most of my memorable ones and plays a grounding role therein usually, I think.] It's night time around us but we're used to the darkness and in these woods. Her and I are hiding amongst the trees behind some trunks peering out from behind. There is a large group of people in a clearing a few hundred yards or so off looking for us; I didn't count them in my dream but it seems visually like around 15-20 people as I recall it now and analyze it. I just knew they were looking for us specifically because the air was tense. They were gathered together and anticipating something like they were leading some search party. They had torches and such as well. I don't know what I, she, or we did, but they want us dead; those people.

We waited for them to leave the area, and then sprinted back the way they'd just come from while running curiously faster than we could normally run in real life through the big clearing they were in. My vision was bouncing like it normally would but in super quick time, like I was running in fast forward speed. All was still going pretty well for us with in terms of moving unnoticed. One big group seems an awfully stupid idea to catch a small group in retrospect; so that's another non-logical point to contest in this dream.

We exited the clearing they were gathered in and going further we entered what seemed like a small dirt road now extending through the thick forest that we knew would be there. Perhaps this is where they were supposed to have come from. They couldn't have come from any other direction without wandering through thick forest, basically.

About what seemed like 5 seconds down this road running at a ridiculous even olympic sprinter pace, and breathing hard and fast but feeling ultra-light and not one bit tired, I saw a shadow of a small boulder or a large concealed lump up on the road up ahead. I approached it with the fastest speed I could imagine running; too fast to slow down to think about what it was, I guess, just like an F1 race car crash.

As I passed the shadow I realized instantly by it's form that it was a sleeping wolf. My whole life I've had a curious fascination with the solitary and also pack mentalities of wolves and their aesthetic beauty to me. It probably comes from my first dog; a husky. But fond as I am of wolves now I don't see how I'd be preconditioned to expect to almost step on one so suddenly in the middle a dream forest road like this. And to then have an experience with it too.

So as this realization that it was really a wolf came to pass in my mind my first instinct was, "Oh shit; a wolf. It's going to eat me". But surprisingly, I stopped to a halt about 10-15 feet past it. Looking back, I noticed that my wife had stopped sprinting too in a delayed reaction to seeing me stop. She looked at me like, "Why stop?", as if put on alert by my actions and body language... I don't know if she saw it yet, looking back.

The wolf lumbered up and on all fours by now standing still with it's head angled down and eyes pointed at me as if to evaluate. It was mostly a silver color with some peppering. There were typically indistinct markings but they seemed to morph in color slightly while I looked at them; black in some places becoming more white in others while gray was the majority affect that lasted for you. I could clearly see that it was a perfect probably 100+lb Gray Wolf (aka Timberwolf) which was standing at a slight angle to me, with it's head turned to me with ears still wide up on alert; an angle it stood at which showed off it's impressively massive shoulders and it's strength with a huge chest that nearly dipped down to the ground, but also it was in a curious posture due to the position of the ears rather than signifying a threatened one. It was BEAUTIFUL to look at and to be a part of as we connected there in the middle of the dark forest, man and beast.

I was still scared a little that it might attack me at any point though. There was an air of anticipation toward that end on my part the entire time unfortunately. Throughout that uncertainty, from the effect of sheer beauty and fascination, I stayed and waited for it to approach me; dumbfounded for several reasons as internal alarms went off and my heart pounded wildly despite it's slow movement. I was almost in a trance of admiration for it's form likewise and it's ineffable sense of majesty that it moves in. And I was so close to it with nothing to protect me.

I think I remember muttering to myself, "Wow, this is just like one of those scenes on national geographic". Luckily for my dream-self I never sensed any ill intent so it wasn't all that nerve-wracking a wait while it walked over to me ... slowly as I said. It just kinda sauntered over to me looking rather calm but mildly cautious still, itself, it's tail down. As if it might be the one who needs to jump back or run away if I made a sudden move.

As it got up close enough to me, it just stood there looking up at my face without making direct eye contact, seemingly looking for an indication of my response as it approached, showing no emotion but only a hint of wild curiosity in the eyes, and the upturned corners of it's mouth. It still felt very much to be a wild animal in front of me. I was extremely on edge due to survival instinct, but I started to feel much more confident that it meant us no harm and that I'd made a connection with it; we were both in non-threatening eye contact now at a close range for short periods there as we sized each other up in the dark.

During this my wife was looking at me confused and was a standing still a little farther off behind us. It was very very close to me now; almost touching me. So feeling confident, I cautiously and a little fearfully reached out my left hand to pat the wolf on the back and side of the neck, partially to show myself and my wife there was no harm since she still seemed confused and shocked.

The wolf didn't respond very vividly to my touch; I think it only lowered it's head a little and squinted slightly like it appreciated the sensation and would allow me more. The feeling of love for it I had increased exponentially in waves when it didn't attack but rather allowed me to pat it a few times like that ... and then I woke up suddenly.


"One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious."

--C.G. JUNG

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Old 12-30-2009, 07:48 AM   #12
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Have you ever awoken from a dream only to in actually find yourself still dreaming, and inside another dream? But you thought you were awake? But maybe still it was more like my case, where you're awaking someplace not where you expected to wake up. Like you started to look around then, thinking, "Oh no, maybe I'm stuck here", or something. Maybe even to the point that waking up from this reality is like a cold slap in the face (when you finally do the second time)? That's the kind of feeling that I'm talking about, only if you can imagine it, then pull THAT frame up to look at this experience through, now:


I've had dreams where I slip out of my body inside the dream that lead to full on out of body experiences. And in those sorts of dreams, I usually exit my body in some weird feeling way I can remember.

The last time I can remember, felt like slipping out of a rubber inner-tube that separated one room some other room behind a huge partition-like wall. I slid through this inner-tube on my belly, arms first, and then flopped out bending over at the hip and slid/floated to the ground rather serpentine like. Then I curled up into the fetal position like how I normally have whenever that's happened to me. After I settle down from the shock I start to "wake up", becoming aware of my surroundings while still in the "mind awake:body asleep" state. Until eventually I click "on", so to speak, and am awake in a way that is both electric and vivid. It's more sharp and coherent than regular waking life.

It's interesting to note, that this situation which I just described here is exactly where I picked up in another OOBE induced by a dream (CA to NY OOBE). In most of my dreams I slip out and land somewhere unfamiliar. I recognize where I am. The floor or grass materializes. I fall gently into it, gaining a sense of heaviness in my astral body which I become aware of more and more only as fast as I ... begin to become FULLY ALERT ... and curious about what's going on around me in a familiar way until I'm more alert than I am when awake. Then the bushes shoot in and stop fast, sorta like I'd seen happen in the matrix. They really got a lot of things right in that movie about the astral. The clouds and sky and sun sorta all blink on for me next, real quick, in about an instant after that happens. Until the whole scene has materialized around me, one lightning fast segment at a time, and eventually comes to a rest. There is a sensation of moving at a tremendous speed with nearly no friction that accompanies these shifts; like I'm really the one who is moving and not the scenery.

I once had a scene by a waterfall appear just like this with a smoking train in the distance across a river down below the cliff. It had a rich lush feeling like Scottish highlands or something akin. Standing there with a friend, at the top of a cliff by the waterfall, I look down from the railing approach the stairs... I see two men formally chatting who are disturbed by us. After a moment, they chat again, ignoring us. I see a broken waterslide rusted and unused under the falls. Something said that it used to be for area children to play in. That scene twas so breath-taking I could further digress to discuss it... but I can't.

Stuff like that aside, this dream of mine I initially spoke of was non-physically centered as far as I can remember. I slipped out of body in my sleep first in other words, I think I oozed out through the chest head first like shedding my skin, after becoming incredibly aroused spontaneously. Something during those vibrations subconsciously prompted me to the OOBE possibility and I pushed forward and out of my body that was in the dream. Then, "Click!", suddenly a switch in my state of consciousness occurs suddenly and now it's all in such a different kind of first person perspective; vivid, clear, sharp. In my lucid dreams, even, it feels as if my eyes are attached to my body in the back of my head. In these events I find myself in front; in clear first person perspective.

So I slipped out of my solar plexus as the vibrations rip through me. And there I was... laying on the ground all curled up as usual. It was like a pebbly kinda sandy beach I was on now somehow. I'm wide awake, but not clear headed entirely. Though the beach was more like a swampy lake of a very large size. There was a fog over the water in patches. Where am I? There was also fog over the land as well in some parts of it which settled into the lowest places and wafted around the terrain slightly. If not like the game Myst, then it reminds me of a Zelda scene a little, now that I think of it. But it wasn't computerized in appearance at all. That's a very very rough expression I used just to gain a grasp of what type of strangeness I really mean to allude to here. It was way more life like. Too real not to be real at the time, if you catch my drift ... if you're drifting with me. Then again, during this dream, my dream mind also interfered with my conscious mind at certain points as I became exhausted.

I stood up and looked out onto the water and saw only fog on the horizon and no land. It didn't look like a bay either. I looked to my left and right down the coastline. I could only see for about 100 yards in either direction because there were many naturally occurring columns of strange lanky bushlike tree things obscuring my site that I'd never before seen in waking reality. They were arranged such as to be thick enough to become a sight obstruction for all intents and purposes, if looking down the coast, but one could navigate around them since there were clearings and pathways through these, Of them, some wider and some more narrow.

To be blunt about it: It looked like another fucking planet with all the weird plants and the mist and the giant swamp. A scattering of the plant-life was barren, like they were standing dead trees. There were fallen large trees scattered about and rotting. It was pretty creepy, all in all. But not for any particular reason I can put my finger on other than uncertainty and the feeling that I was really already awake.

There are mazes of bushes to be navigated, to which end I know not where I'll arrive. Only that I feel it could be a great deal before anyone comes my way happening to stumble across me, if ever. No signs of human life comfort me; no wrappers, no litter in general.

And some of these paths have bushes which have thorns in them. And thorns which hurt! The pain is a like remembering what it feels like to be hurt luckily. It's a sort of distant pain like your body is experiencing it far away somewhere, which might make sense to some if you think about it.

I walked onwards, doing my best to be avoiding the pricker bushes, pushing apart the vegetation as I forged ahead, looking around to observe all the many different colors and shades of spotted and speckled beautiful flowers, plants, and trees of all different strange sci-fi looking shapes and varieties of flora that I've never seen before. I can't even begin to try to describe them, they're too fantastic. Better than the pictures of the rainforest I saw advertised by tour salespeople while in Hawaii. It really started to impress me how beautiful this jungle was that I had walked into. All I would likely do to describe it in my trying would be to successfully tarnish whatever image you built up yourself ... as you read these words ... in your mind ... as you read along. You know.

But keep in mind, weird as it is, it was all still vaguely but very much Earth-like in it's beauty and formation. Plant life apparently grows balanced as according to the fibonacci sequence like on earth, etc.. There was a sun. There is a sky that has an atmosphere with some weird color that wasn't blue, but more like a purple shade, I think. Which would make sense given the attributions of it qabballistically, if relating to yesod, I guess. I don't remember for sure now however.

There was Earth gravity on this planet for everyone. There was a certain hardness and softness to materials you can feel. Branches really bent when I pushed against them. And snapped back behind me when I let go. There was something like pain and all that when I get hurt as I said. Of course, given the rest, there was also a falling sensation if I fell. And later on in the story, there are even cars. Street signs. Pedestrians. Road markings. Gum on the ground. Dirt on the floor. Etc. But I hadn't gotten to that point yet. Let me take you back to my progression which I started to describe at about the point of the jungle. There I was in the thick of it, for now:

After getting my bearings the best I could, I started to walk in a direction that just felt right. I could sense and hear that wilderness was crawling with life but I could see none of it strangely. The sounds let me know I wasn't alone. Which somewhat worried me about the potential wildlife lurking here; wherever here was. I started to feel lost, thinking, "Shouldn't I have found civilization by now?". Hiking onwards I started to wonder just what kind of animals were in this forest with me. Could they eat me? Were there really people around here somewhere? Or was I only walking deeper into this jungle?

I start running things over in my mind aloud as I walked, "Okay. Calm down. Review the facts. You woke up... You don't know where the hell you are. Is this a dream? It has to be a dream. Or a projection. Okay. But then where am I? Shouldn't I appear someplace familiar [edit: in the real time zone, like in california.]? Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Let there be a road up ahead soon, oh please! Let there be some life out here that can help me get home. How did I even get here? I hope I'm not going deeper into this place by accident. Oh man... What's with these weird little bush trees anyway? They look like huge bonzai trees or something. [edit: I start drifting off slightly here.] And these strange looking brightly and hugely flowered bushes sprouting here and there? haha And look at those ones over there--insane. Where am I, man? This is getting too weird. I have to get home though. I just have to get home.", and other frantic evaluating ideas of that nature ran through my head profusely as I wandered on, regaining consciousness fully along the way, scanning the developing horizon for signs of civilized life nervously. It just didn't feel right not knowing where I was at all.

There were birds occasionally chattering, and sometimes even flying over head; but they were no birds I'd seen here in the so-called wake world. Not that they were weird shaped or anything. They just had these strange bright and fancy color formations and features I hadn't seen before. The songs were unfamiliar that these birds chirped too, as well. More melodic... I looked down the path as far as I can see and continue walking along the jungle place. It's gradually turning more into a section of woods or forest as I go along, from jungle marshland.

The forest suddenly comes to an edge where a road has been pushed through it, looking very out of place, as it was right next to and leading into a developed city in the distance a ways off. I got on this road and followed the road for a short time until I came at last to the urban area I just mentioned seeing. I know where I am at once. Or do I? It feels familiar, but I can't tell myself where I am and my joy fades. I second guess myself immediately. No. It's familiar alright. I just don't know where I am still.

"Where is this place? I know it. I know it. Think. Where are you? You've been here. Right?", I asked myself, trying to jog my memory, as I started to run a list of possible matches in my mind for the place. Soon I gave up trying and wandered into a store to ask. I didn't see any cash register inside. I didn't see any merchandise. There was a counter, and a guy. I asked him what he sold here. And he said that I could see on the way in, or something, and that I should know since I came in to begin with. And if I don't know what kind of store it is, then why am I coming in to ask him things about what he sells randomly? He was suspicious of me now; or at least, he was watching me very closely, but he still was interested or curious in who I was. Clearly I wasn't from around there, I guess.

By now I'm starting to get tired at this point since I'm expending a lot of emotional energy and this is taking a lot of time. And I started to be sleepy and slothful in movement for a few minutes at a time. I wasn't able to articulate responses well at points. I told him how I just wanted to go home.

Then the conversation lead to me asking the guy in charge about how to get back to this town I used to live in not many years ago. "Hastings?", Was the confused sounding reply that I got from him. It was like I'd asked about a place that didn't exist or something. It's only a small town though... but I figured I was in NY.

"Yeah, that's where I live. I wanna go home. I'm lost. Please help me out.", I said to the guy, almost pleading. This made him look worried; apparently from seeing my desperation and not understanding why perhaps.

"Irvington, you know, in Westchester County? "Scarsdale power lawyers"? "Rye Playland"? Westchester! WESTCHESTER COUNTY!", I said loudly and sounding drunken due to tired slurring, getting more impatient, and feeling drowsy and helplessly lost. I sensed no friendly or understanding response in the body language. And the befuddled arrogance of his smug denial to satisfactory answer me like I was a nut was really starting to frustrate and to even piss me off. I felt like they knew something I didn't and were only patronizing me like I was a lunatic or an idiot.

My feeling of helplessness and confusion was increasing exponentially by the minute. I calmed myself and tried to figure out where I could be, double checking with doubt in my tone, I asked, "Irvington. You know, like the writer? Washington Irving. "Irving-town". Irving-TON. Irvington, NY. Right? Get me? It's like right near NYC...?", I paused, fruitlessly waiting for a proverbial bell to ring on his end that never did.

The guy then suddenly said, "haha Oh. You wanna get to New York City? You're a long ways away from NEW YORK CITY buddy." And he laughed, I think assuming me to be drunk and jovial perhaps; like it was a continent away. I overlooked the fact that he had said "go to NYC", and said, "yeah! Fine! NYC!". Frantically, I asked, " How do I get to New York City from here?"

Then he looked at me as if to suggest something like, "What? You mean you really wanna go to NYC, dude? I was just humoring you.".

I got more persistent that he tell me how to get there. Until finally he got blatantly pissed off and told me to get the fuck out of his store in plain English. And he saw me out that front door, too. Told me never to come back around again or something--the bastard. lol

So I wandered the streets for a while, desperate to find a street sign or a cross road as I did. I was desperate to find a person as well but there were almost none to be seen out walking around. I think I asked the few people that were there "Where are we? What city is this here?", and they just looked at me like I was on drugs or tried to ignore me in fear. There was like nothing to link up to that told me where I was seemingly. It was like suddenly being planted into a new country where everything and people in general are nearly the same as it was where you're from, more or less, but not.

I finally came to a corner. The corner I was at reminded me sort of a mixture of White Plains, NY, Amsterdam, NL, and the corner of Main St. by the library in Dobbs Ferry, NY. I stood around feeling drowsy and tired, and even a little clumsy. I almost fell asleep as my head drooped. I was wondering why everything was so familiar in the mean while, fading in and out. I was wondering how I was ever going to get home if nobody knew where it was here, wherever here had become. It was even more weird because it felt like home in a weird familiar way but I know I'd never seen it before while being awake. Get me?

So I go into another store. In this store, I expected to see some method of transacting business but again was not shown anything of the sort. It was a huge empty store, yet again, but only for the most part. It was all empty except for one desk, with one woman behind it this time. She had a phone on hers. She had some basic amenities. There were lights and stuff, and electricity apparently, like before.

She could see I was clearly upset, I remember, and the look of empathy was on her face. I sat down at her little desk, pulling up a chair. "Listen: I need to go home", I told her.

She looked at me. "Where do you want to go, now?", She looked clearly distressed by my urgency but was ready to attempt to potentially help me. And then basically I went through the same conversation again, but with this woman instead.

Except this time, in the other store, she called in another guy from the back. He pops out from the back room because she was scared of me from what I was saying, I can only assume. Because I kept saying I wanted to go to this place they'd never heard of. And I didn't know where I was. Or what year it was. And I didn't know how I got there. I was slurring a little, tired, and was losing control falling deeper back towards that full on dream state all of the time, and coming less fully out of it in each pass.

Whenever I finally fall back asleep, the projection entirely ends, and I black out. The scenery drifts into a dream and I start doing dream activities there, or I wake up in my physical body and merge with it. More on those another time. I have dream personas; I know this because I keep a dream journal. If I don't write it down, I rehearse it until it's retained. I highly recommend this to the interested. I would have never noticed trends if not for those few sheets of paper, a pen, and a simple 2 minute exercise in the morning before doing what I have to do for the day. It's that easy and results are noticeable, quick. But did I just get off topic again?

Moving along in the sequence... this woman and this guy are now thoroughly fed up with my "bullshit". I'm not even coherent enough to be witty at this point I just take what I hear and grit my teeth. My scorpio tongue was rusted at that time, that's for sure. I struggled to come up with any answer I did manage to spit out at all.

So they kicked me out right away, these two people. I think they also said that they'd called the authorities and said I'd better get out of there fast. I didn't question that, frustrated as I was. But now I spilled out onto the street looking like a drunken tired mess. I kept wandering around this city-town kind of place frantically looking for something to clue me into where I was in a sort of dream trance since I suppose my astral body lost energy to keep me sufficiently lucid. I have no clue what this was... it's like a mishmash of old places and new experiences.

I was so lost and so confused with how to get home that I even started that, "wake up! wake up! wake up!" chant that I sometimes find myself forced to use in certain nightmares. It didn't work this time, as it usually doesn't whenever I'd try. Because I usually do feel awake at the time, so how do you awake from being awake? It's like a trick question so it doesn't work. You literally have to do the reverse of falling asleep and it's a very zen process that involves becoming aware of the body slowly, by wiggling a toe or your legs in my case, then suddenly you just fall in.

Eventually, I simply woke up. And that was the end of this dream landscape. I've not been able to go back to this place. Or I just don't remember the other times that I have without knowing it since it was so familiar. I hope you enjoyed your guided tour though.


"One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious."

--C.G. JUNG

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Old 12-30-2009, 02:49 PM   #13
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Oh damn. Check this one out. I wasn't going to post anymore, but this one still creeps me out to think about... unlike this other bizarre as hell dream I had a week or so after cursing someone that surprisingly didn't register any emotional effect positive or negative. I think this is definitely an area you might have some fun in if you're good at dissecting these things... I keep pretty good records too whenever the "good" dreams strike well. For all their length in description though, they're actually quite brief like most dreams typically are; not lasting too much longer than your normal dreams tend to take.

edit: I think there was a slight faux-oriental theme to the decoration of the cabin and surrounding property. Actually, kinda "Tibetan-ish". Does that mean my dream campers moved into theme real estate or imply something higher like it seems?

[snip]
I have this dream officially logged in my journal, but I remember it well enough to recap it here in it's abridged version.

I remember a peaceful day-lit camp-like setting all around me suddenly, like I came out of a daydream and just found myself there. It was fenced in by nature on all sides; this camp. I got the impression of emptiness all around the camp. I couldn't see very far past because we were walled in by plants and trees and other obstructions to view that mounted.

As I looked around rather calmly, I noticed that there were seeming authority figures present, who all appeared to be similarly in their late 20s to early 30s. Very youthful. Very vibrant. They were very positive "white light" energy people, so to speak crudely. I don't remember their racial compositions, but the children were of all races. The leaders seem mostly white. There were lots of children, aged around 5 to 12 years or so in a range. The authority figures were friends with and watched over these children as they played like shepherds tending a flock. The parcel of land we were on wasn't but a half acre if that.

I didn't know anybody old OR young; I was totally new. I was shy also which I'm typically not in dreams, no matter what I'm doing. But here I actually felt like an unfamiliar. Usually in dreams I'm outgoing enough to do anything; unaware of inhibition. But instead I remember soon after sitting in one of the small circles of people that formed up, feeling very welcomed but at the same time a little hesitant inside myself due to city living and habits living like that instills. I don't typically sit around and talk about myself with strangers for various reasons.

Still it all felt very real, this. We started going in a circle saying our names with a rhyme or letter association, like, "joyous jerry", or "mike the spike", or something silly like that. We were told to also be saying a little something about ourselves, too, after that. And I played along.

I could tell that I was with the kids at that time, but I was not to be one of the kids. I was not one of the authority figures yet either, but I felt as if they were watching me and wished to induct me in some group in retrospect. Kids were running around the groups playing and laughing very merrily like kids hopped up on life do at that age. Some were sitting in circles of their own talking and playing games. All of this I observed very quickly, but in high detail.

Next we played that game where you toss someone on a blanket airborne and catch them again while you all chant something. I guess it develops teamwork and thus rapport. It's so very realistic, the emotions, with the feeling of flying/falling when you were thrown upwards, even for a dream. My turn came and they tossed me up and caught me several times still chanting something as they went, which we all sung almost possessed whenever anyone was thrown skyward by us.

Eventually, I said out loud, "I wanna go home.". The counselor people didn't directly say no, but they were telling me things like, "hey; you just got here.", and were telling me how I should go play for now and forget about that and blah blah. They pulled a wardrobe rack with hangers out from inside the building attached to the land. Subconsciously it's that old cliche, "Are you staying a while? Then why are you still wearing your coat?". I felt pressured and I took off my coat and put it on a rack with a hanger, I suppose to signify that I was staying because I certainly felt that's what it implied. But I knew I was lying when I did it. I had to distract them. I planned an escape. I don't know why I didn't just say "fuck it". But instead I asked about the place more in depth, and perhaps asked for a showing or tour of it all. And as a result some other counselor guy took me around, which brief passage I'll try to describe to you now.

There was a sloping concrete path on the side of the large cabin that I could see from the backyard looking place with the kids. We walked down there on my curiosity. He said, "nothing's down there--stay away". But this aroused my suspicions and I started to try to feel his intentions. He closed up at once and changed his demeanor. I don't remember much of what we talked about. But I remember him saying explicitly, "whatever you do, just don't go down there. okay?". And he wouldn't tell me why no matter how much I asked. I really got the feeling they wanted me to become one of those counselor people even more at this time. So I smiled nervously.

It follows appropriately that I completed the tour and went back to talking and playing with the kids "as per normal" or expected, at least. I tried very hard to give them all the impression that I was staying because they were pressuring me so much and wouldn't stop following me around to make sure I was getting on alright even after my tour. But I knew that the first opportunity they were busy tending to the kids, I would walk, then RUN, down that path they showed me once I was out of site.

I gained a bit more of lucidity and tried to say, "wake up! wake up!" several times, but to no effect. That damn trick never worked for me. So as soon as everyone went inside, I stole around the corner as I explained I would. I found there were a line of picnic benches at the bottom of the hill or slope forming an edge or perimeter to the space in front of me. There were no people around. This new area felt separate and dead by comparison. I couldn't sense anybody on this side in any direction, even the people in the back of the house. I pondered again the earlier warning, and then tilted forward a bit and ran through a space between the tables, kinda knowing, while kinda not knowing what would happen. Poof. I woke up. I opened my eyes in waking reality. I relaxed and realized how good it felt knowing that I was back.

What would have happened if I decided to stay? Probably nothing. Right? That's what I logically assume. My subconscious tells me I'd have died. But either way it's damn weird to think about those alternate "what if"s for a few minutes if you're somebody who feels they are capable of thinking imaginatively about something new long enough to try.


"One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious."

--C.G. JUNG


Last edited by nytek; 12-30-2009 at 03:09 PM.
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Old 12-30-2009, 07:39 PM   #14
Izabael DaJinn
 
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Originally Posted by nytek

This dream is strange because I had a lucidity about me that somehow felt awake yet impaired as if by sedatives. I had a good sense of awareness yet my attention span was extremely limited. And impulses were very hard to fight whenever they emerged. 7/8ths of this dream was in first person. Third person focus, if ever, came in such a fleeting way that I won't mention where it does. It was like a few small flashes.

07/08/08 -- Dream Journal

I become aware, suddenly, that I am somewhere in between a prison looking place and a hospital. The floors are white and clean. The walls are all eggshell white; everything was just so white and "clinical", really. By my shoulders now I'm being led toward the bed in this room by a cold but highly intelligent seeming woman who seems dressed like a secretary might be in that overall manner. I'm typically good at reading and assessing people, and even in sleep she struck me in a weird way because of the acuteness of her intelligence which seemingly I felt might have far surpassed my own. She was wearing a somewhat plain but not cheap looking businesslike knee-length dress and had placed her hair in a formal up-do.


Once again I feel the woman was your Anima. She had qualities that attracted you immensely and that is usually a clear cut sign its your Anima. We fall in love with our Anima (or Animus) because they have so many aspects we want in ourselves.

In this case it's interesting because its like your dream is saying your wife doesn't have many attributes of your Anima.

Attraction for someone often comes from our projecting our Anima onto them...and when the person doesn't live up to this projection we are often disappointed.

Love for the Anima should be a mystica- magickal experience, but most people are looking for satisfaction in this regard externally. In our dreams the Anima/Animus comes forward to make its presence felt as something far deeper than love for another human.

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IZABAEL
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ABA
B

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Old 12-30-2009, 07:43 PM   #15
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I've had dreams where I slip out of my body inside the dream that lead to full on out of body experiences. And in those sorts of dreams, I usually exit my body in some weird feeling way I can remember.
Consider yourself blessed then

I always wish I could "get out" more often in dreams than I do....

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Old 01-02-2010, 01:27 AM   #16
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Once again I feel the woman was your Anima. She had qualities that attracted you immensely and that is usually a clear cut sign its your Anima. We fall in love with our Anima (or Animus) because they have so many aspects we want in ourselves.
Well, I guess it's only natural that I lust for myself more than anyone else could. Nobody knows me better than me, particularly the things I love about myself, and what is love without intimacy of that sort? Isn't the whole purpose of being in a relationship to balance the psyche in the same vein up to the extreme way that is symbolized by Baphomet?


Quote:
In this case it's interesting because its like your dream is saying your wife doesn't have many attributes of your Anima.
Okay. That's a stretch. I see that you say, "it's like your dream is saying...", and I understand the nature of speculation that is involved here. I'll steer you back the way I think it is, then, in terms of my own analysis based on yours.

First off, there was heartbreak. Isn't there also a subconscious desire to avenge or rationalize being cheated on to remove humiliation? Couldn't it furthermore be said even contrarily that what attracted me so much to this woman, is that which I also see in my wife, which is that which I see most clearly in myself, given that they both are representatives of my anima? There are differences between them which actually shines light on this for me, however.

If my wife were like that she would be near inhuman. It could mean my anima is flawed I guess. That would make sense of my fit of co-dependence before NLP and such. I could be said to have been trying to externally compensate and thus relied on the external symbol. The form of the dream-woman was nice enough but nothing special. The super-human intelligence of her is what made me lust for this figure after a while when I finally became lucid enough to notice and observe. Intelligence is one of the prime reasons I'm with my wife, and why I respect her so much, in part, and also because she respects mine (and has the perceived authority then for me to give a damn). Not to mention several other values I'm aware of needing in a relationship through analysis that the anima in question could never serve or live up to emotionally.

Sexually, though, perhaps you're right. But then the answer begs the question. Do I find intelligence in terms of problem solving and ability to learn incredibly attractive when in the right package? Yes. Undoubtedly. Does my wife match my level of intelligence? I answer instead of "yes" or "no": "Do many people?". She comes closest by far compared to anyone I've known up until now, matches my screening list in other ways, and demonstrates solid value to boot, which is true unless you were to question my bias. So you could actually be right since I hold the value in such high regard, but then again, at the risk of sounding alarmingly elitist in my gutting analysis of myself (take it or leave me alone--I have to be an elitist about who I'm with--it's my time I'm talking about. lol)... I don't know many guys like myself either on the other hand so it's not a perception relegated to "woman" entirely. I guess it doesn't matter if I'm honest, so I might as well be since I chose to be analyzed. Eh?

Now ... It's not impossible to have a higher aptitude for learning than me, not at all. There are plenty of people, though not comparatively to the population or anything. In the rare cases I find someone with abeautiful mind of sorts, I don't often find many of said people, male or female, who don't have massive psychological problems due to the unconstrained thinking power they have to erode themselves with, and the feeling of separateness that view of the world produces or are just neurotic, or instead they've followed the religion of science to the exclusion of all else. Not sexy.

If I didn't face a lot of these things you mentioned, plus look at it in the anima-light, so to speak, then I probably wouldn't have been able to bring myself to analyze the details like this. Thanks, Iza.

edit: I did it again. My bad for editing your post again. I've got to pay more attention; I know. If it happened again, now, I'd be amazed.


"One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious."

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Old 01-02-2010, 02:14 AM   #17
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Consider yourself blessed then

I always wish I could "get out" more often in dreams than I do....
I do consider myself blessed in a limited sense. I haven't figured out how to purposely induce them from dreams either unless I see something that triggers me into projecting. There are various methods to do this, and none of them have worked save one. I've tried. The problem isn't with the method. The problem is feeling safe entirely letting go of my physical consciousness.

Maybe you can relate. Often my subconscious has had to notice me reading about the subject for hours over days and maybe weeks and then it helps to set up situations that induce them while asleep in strings, sometimes more than one per night in such a case. That probably would work for you since it works for everyone I've ever known. Well, it "works"... you get me.

I have natural aptitude and also a nagging irrational fear, from suppressed memories no doubt, that the boogeyman is waiting right around the corner to scare me. This comes from all the hauntings I've attracted and reality defying stuff that happens around me and certain friends I'd be with. Even alone, just two days ago at 12:50am while I was studying black magick, the christmas lights that were still hanging up on the wall over here shook a little and then jumped about a foot up and smacked down a few times.

Going back, when I was around 15 I got out of body partially about twice, heard astral noise several times, made it to the door several times, and down to the fridge once before passing my hand through it. Those were good times... lol But I only had those happen by chance of laying down exhausted and deciding to get up again from a deep sleep state. I've only been able to do it from a conscious state like 2 or 3 times off the top of my head.

Looking back, AP is at least my biggest frustration up until now... I guess the only secret is persistence though, isn't it. :| Don't you want to slip out right when you want and go to the goetics or to your HGA? So many possibilities... doing rituals there would be best too. (...Damn lust for result.) Even my sigils have failed for this, which is rare to note for anything.

Maybe we should both work with Gaap? You're significantly more intimate with Goetia than myself. What do you think?


"One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious."

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Old 06-08-2012, 09:35 PM   #18
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I actually don't remember my dreams, or whether I have them at all. Anyone got any ideas why this could be?

I think people should always try to take the bad things that happen to them in their lives and turn them into something good. Don't you?

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Old 06-09-2012, 06:52 AM   #19
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I actually don't remember my dreams, or whether I have them at all. Anyone got any ideas why this could be?
How many hours of sleep do you get a night? A class in lucid dreaming, the teacher explained one time how people mostly sleep in 90 minute cycles and it is not to the fourth cycle one tends to dream. Me I get by on five hours sleep a night most nights so I tend not to dream either, or remember them.

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I believe in one secret and ineffable LORD; and in one Star in the Company of Stars of whose fire we are created, and to which we shall return; and in one Father of Life, Mystery of Mystery, in His name CHAOS, the sole viceregent of the Sun upon the Earth; and in one Air the nourisher of all that breathes.

And I believe in one Earth, the Mother of us all, and in one Womb wherein all men are begotten, and wherein they shall rest, Mystery of Mystery, in Her name BABALON.
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Old 06-09-2012, 11:06 PM   #20
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I'm usually catching about 2-5 hours sleep, and for me I find that I dream mostly in naps... I've only had "Messages" that are more specific to answers when entering deeper sleep states...
The symbolism is usually easier to comprehend too.

Glorius art thou, Thine lady behind the Veil of Purity, Queen of the silvered waters, Shining in the heavens as the Celestial Serpent!
Great, is the Goddesses Kebetchet

Hail to thy name, Thy Jackal of the mountain, Seasoned traveller of the Heavens, Prince of the gates and keeper of mine heart, Hail to thou, lord of the true twilight!
Great is the Name, Anpu

Infinite is thine light, She whom cries in the wrath of spirit, Divine justice, lady of the ever burning flame eternal, Beautiful is she of the red deserts, Eternal is her Greatness, Hail to thou, Lady of Justice
Eternally, thou art Sekhmet!

Oh Thou neteru, Mine masters behold that ectasy be induced at the thought of thy names within the heart of thine disciple!
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