Looking for Wisdom? Welcome to The Fool Speaks: Magick, Mayhem, Goetia, and the Occult Forums!

You must register before you can post. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the list below.

Member Login:

So You Want to Be a Goetic Shaman? Question and answer forum for the discussion of anything related to the Goetia (including the Pseudomonarchia Daemonum) with especial regard to using the daemons in non-traditional ways.

Reply
Old 11-28-2009, 09:30 PM   #1
Xophier
 
Status: Initiate
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 56



Default The Goetia Project

I have recently began a ritualistic project, where, if I complete it, I will work with each of the seventy-two spirits of the Goetia within the span of a year.


My background is study. I have studied the occult and mythology for longer than half my currant age. I work with Demons respectfully and not through demanding, summoning, or any other style of precaution as if they want to do me harm. Even though I say this, my mantra has been; I have a decade of study, and less than a week of practice. This project is my true initiation. I began randomly after receiving a very early birthday gift of a silver and lapis lazuli ring. I felt wonderful while wearing it and a strong pull to do this, something I've wanted to do for a long time. They day I said, ok let's do this was ironically the first day of Bifrons. Ironic because Bifrons comes from the Roman God Janus, and because I am a buff of hedonistic greek mythology as well as late roman mythology. By first day, I mean the first day of his astrological degree. November eighteenth, and five days of honoring him and working with his energy came Barbatos. His degree ended last night and today began Buer. I also get to work with my favorite Goetia spirit/demon for my birthday. Seere ^^

I actually don't know if these astrological days are static or not, but I began it and I will stick with it. I am keeping both a paper journal as well as a summery on a invite only forum, which has little traffic.

I try to use the appropriate incense, but besides that I really can't work with any metals. I was wondering if I could get some advice from you. With both Bifrons and Barbatos, I made clay sigils and made lesser type offerings as thanks, but I am not sure what else I can do in that department.

I also do have salvia, but I've tried it nine times and only once did I get a response. I do not smoke, I do not do illegal drugs. I do, however take painkillers because I am disabled, so there might be some odd reaction between me in pain, on opiods, and on salvia. I mean I used to take a lot stronger pills for the pain and I went cold turkey from the strong stuff onto very weak pills in moderation, but the damage to the liver's done, like I can't get drunk. It's kind of funny, being 21, I can't partake in the ritual of my peers hehehe... I have a tolerance of a binge drinker. It's actually nice in a way since my ritual spirit of choice is Absinthe.

Would love feedback and welcome questions. If you'd like I can show you my run down of the workings with the first two, I don't mind ^^
Xophier is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2009, 10:24 PM   #2
Izabael DaJinn
 
Izabael DaJinn's Avatar
 
Status: Administrator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: The Fool's Bottle
Posts: 760



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Xophier View Post
I have recently began a ritualistic project, where, if I complete it, I will work with each of the seventy-two spirits of the Goetia within the span of a year.
Yay!! That's such an awesome idea. We tried to do something like that once...by pAmphAge trying to put all 72 into me at one time. It was horrible! But that's because that's wayy too many at once. lol. Your idea reminds me more like a Goetic pathworking almost, where each invocation will build on the ones preceeding it.


Quote:
My background is study. I have studied the occult and mythology for longer than half my currant age. I work with Demons respectfully and not through demanding, summoning, or any other style of precaution as if they want to do me harm. Even though I say this, my mantra has been; I have a decade of study, and less than a week of practice. This project is my true initiation. I began randomly after receiving a very early birthday gift of a silver and lapis lazuli ring. I felt wonderful while wearing it and a strong pull to do this, something I've wanted to do for a long time. They day I said, ok let's do this was ironically the first day of Bifrons. Ironic because Bifrons comes from the Roman God Janus, and because I am a buff of hedonistic greek mythology as well as late roman mythology. By first day, I mean the first day of his astrological degree. November eighteenth, and five days of honoring him and working with his energy came Barbatos. His degree ended last night and today began Buer. I also get to work with my favorite Goetia spirit/demon for my birthday. Seere ^^
You "get" how to use the Goetia and read its subtle signs. That's good! Those little coincidences, when they "feel" right can help guide you. In my opinion, solid demon work means your intuition grows stronger with all aspects of life.

Yay! Seere is your favorite!! Mine too of course.


Quote:
I actually don't know if these astrological days are static or not, but I began it and I will stick with it. I am keeping both a paper journal as well as a summery on a invite only forum, which has little traffic.
You are welcome to log them here. It would be elucidating and helpful.

I like how you are using a meaningful system to break your workings into segments. That, sort of thing, I think helps get to the end of these long projects. I did all 30 Enochian Aethyrs this summer and it's not always easy to get to the end. 72 daemons is a lot.

Quote:
I try to use the appropriate incense, but besides that I really can't work with any metals. I was wondering if I could get some advice from you. With both Bifrons and Barbatos, I made clay sigils and made lesser type offerings as thanks, but I am not sure what else I can do in that department.
Cooking and baking things and leaving them for the demons works amazing for me, personally.

Quote:
I also do have salvia, but I've tried it nine times and only once did I get a response. I do not smoke, I do not do illegal drugs. I do, however take painkillers because I am disabled, so there might be some odd reaction between me in pain, on opiods, and on salvia. I mean I used to take a lot stronger pills for the pain and I went cold turkey from the strong stuff onto very weak pills in moderation, but the damage to the liver's done, like I can't get drunk. It's kind of funny, being 21, I can't partake in the ritual of my peers hehehe... I have a tolerance of a binge drinker. It's actually nice in a way since my ritual spirit of choice is Absinthe.
Are you using Salvia Divinorum extract?

Absinthe use is good for demon working. It's ritualistic, it's subtle, and has a sort of stilling atmosphere involved with the whole process. I would imagine that feels very good to get into state to be receptive to demonic workings.

You don't really need much. Salvia and other drugs, I think should be a last resort for people who feel they never get any "astral" results, honestly. That includes a lot of people though....



Quote:
Would love feedback and welcome questions. If you'd like I can show you my run down of the workings with the first two, I don't mind ^^
Indeed that would be lovely.

xoxo,
Izabael
Izabael DaJinn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2009, 02:38 AM   #3
Xophier
 
Status: Initiate
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 56



Default Bifrons

I used Salvia Divinorum extract, yes. But the best result, was my eighth time where I felt like my soul was waves, and my physical body was a mass of sand, slowly eroding it, I feel asleep and the feeling persisted until waking up. I also have little to no experiance to understanding of the astral, but I assume that's from not experiancing it. Then again I am happy for any result. I aim that I will not connect and I am never disappointed with the results.

This is a bit of a pathworking, I never could get into the systems like Thelema or Kaballah... one seems to just inflate the ego and the other lowers it hehehe...

Editted to add that, seems stupid to add yet another post

Bifrons

Forty-sixth spirit within the Goetia.
Rank, Earl
Planetary alignment, Mars
Incense, Dragon's Blood
Oleum, caraway, pine, and hazel

18th
This day was study. Without much digging I found there is a good chance he is Janus, who is a Roman God. I couldn't find much on Janus in my books because he is one of the rare Roman Gods who didn't stem from a Greek God. As far as I could find in context, he was a god of change, of endings and new beginnings. Bifrons is a Demon of astrology, geometry, and other arts and sciences. As well as teaching the virtues of precious stones and woods.

This day I also broke a bone in my left foot. I didn't know it at the time, and just though I had some pinched nerve or something of the like.

19th
This day involved the making of the oleum and sigil. I etched the sigil of Bifrons into clay, added a few drops of the oleum and a drop of my blood and baked it. I think I over did the oleum just a bit, but I shouldn't have been doing it with my foot all messed up anyhow. I spent the rest of the day contemplating of I should go to the hospital, which I didn't. I meditated on Bifrons, poorly I may add since I suck at meditation, and fell asleep. Had a bunch of weird dreams, mostly of H.P. Lovecraft type things and awoke to see a shadow figure in my hallway. It was human-esque, but with a rather odd head and arm. The arm seemed like a point and the face I later learned while drawing it looked a lot like a silhouette of two faces, back to back looking.

20th
This day was mostly rest, since my leg was holding me back from even walking. I drew some alternate sigils and played with kamea and gematria with the name Bifrons.

21st
Was awoken a few times by that figure. I went to the hospital and I indeed had a broken bone. They only gave me an ace bandage though... and like no painkillers! Sigh, set up for the ritual on the 22nd got the candles and incense and all of that. Also, found an odd website which went into my new ring a lot. It's a Lapis Lazuli and silver ring, and it had a lot of information about Lapis Lazuli, and things I didn't know. I chalk this up to Bifrons hehehe.

22nd
I spent this day being pretty disappointed with myself. I couldn't do the ritual in ideal surroundings, I couldn't walk around, and I just felt really down on myself most of the day. The mishap with the oleum... but I did the ritual and I felt something if only for a second. I began to laugh, laughing at the little things I was depressed over. I have to think, with 72 Demons, each being a five day degree, my routine will change, my ability will grow, and I will do some of these when I am down in the dumps or swamped with a million other things to do. I think this broken bone kind of tested me. Like a “let's see if you will actually follow through or just drop it like so many other things.” But anyhow, I added some blood to the candles from a recent injury, lit them. Had my clay sigil and lit the cone of dragon's blood. After the first cone went out, I lit another and stared into the flames. I thanked him for his short time, and while focusing on that little internal dialogue I was surprised at how quickly the cone burnt down. The ash was cooled as well from a bit of a stupid move or touching it. I took the ashes and the clay sigil disk and rubbed them together. I don't know why, but it looks pretty cool. Ruined, pulled from some ancient rubble. As the ritual wound down, I blew out each candle by placing my hand behind it and blowing. All but one wouldn't go out. I really tried twice, but it refused. I guess he wanted one for the night, so I let it burn down.

During that time, I also drew many alternative sigils... but yes, that is my first ritual of the seventy two.

Last edited by Xophier; 11-29-2009 at 02:51 AM. Reason: top
Xophier is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2009, 02:42 AM   #4
Xophier
 
Status: Initiate
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 56



Default

Goetia Project

Twenty-third to the Twenty-seventh

Just did the thank you/ritual of the five days and damn did it feel great! I can't explain this, I feel full of life, energy, yet relaxed, and happy. Barbatos is definitely a Demon I have to come back to!


Barbatos
I pronounced it as Bar-b-itoss and Bar-be-tose

Eighth spirit within the Goetia.
Rank, Duke and Earl. One of the seven spirits to hold two ranks
Planetary Alignment, Mars and Venus
Incense, Dragon's Blood and Sandalwood
(I used Dragon's Blood, Wormwood and Juniper Mix)
Oleum, Arnica goats rue and catnip
(I used a very nice wine)

23rd
This day I did my research. The second step in the project, but an odd thing was that this sigil kind of made me feel daunted. It's big, albeit symmetrical, it had those elemental crosses which I am a bit confused if I should use them or not, being disrespectful or a needed part of the sigil. I drew it with them and I couldn't get it to feel right. Spent a lot of time trying to make the sigil in a way it appealed to me but it didn't work all that well. An odd occurrence, my kitten, Cabbie has been on me like catnip. I thought it was pretty cool as Barbatos helps communication with animals.

24th
I awoke next to Cabbie purring, it seemed he slept along side me the night. I don't understand how since I keep him and all his things two closed doors away from my bedroom. He was on me like glue all day. Not the normal playful bite and scratch either but an affectionate way. I can't complain I guess. He somehow escaped and is not at all an outside cat. I heard him through the sound of a TV my own thoughts crying at the door on the other side of the house. I shouldn't have heard him. I drew the sigil of Barbatos the original way on a piece of rough processed paper I use for sigils as it burns with a nice oak smell. I also made the clay sigil the same way. On a rectangular shape, like a Chinese gold coin came to mind. I added blood to the paper, by ripping a hangnail out which went to the cuticle and had a good amount. I didn't use the blood on the baked clay sigil. On it's back, I etched the image of the two planetary signs, and his name. I got in touch with an old boyfriend, my first one while testing my sexuality about. It turns out I am asexual, I never was attracted to him or any girls, but he was adorable and we shared out romantic bonds. It was out of no where, and pretty sweet he remembered me. I also got my doctor to write me up some REAL painkillers woo! Now my broken foot is a lot more tolerable. I've been really enjoying Absinthe, the spirit of the artists, the poets, and the occultist for years. Was banned in USA until 2007. It is phenomenal! Sadly, the brand Lucid, a mediocre absinthe is 60 USD for a 750mL. The enn is Eveta Fubic Barbatos, but I rarely use the enns, can't hold a tune or vibration to save my life these days.

25th
Again, the cat is all over me and did escape to which I heard his cries. He loves his face scratched... it's a bit odd, not rubbed but a more abrasive scratching. Slept a lot this day for some reason. I can probably allude to the drinking and vicodin, but I am stubborn. I planned to meditate after showering but raw sewage backed up in my said shower. Spent the rest of the day bitching and complaining to people over the phone. They will send someone tomorrow, on thanksgiving day apparently, because if they don't I am calling the damn health department and having the house labeled as not fit to occupy. Let's see the douchebag landlord rent this place after that while he pays for a hotel for me.
Oh caught up with another friend I haven't heard from in years
Well, that didn't go as planned but I started drawing up sigils, like turning the crosses into x's. That's when I saw that with a little alteration, the six stands plus the curled line looks like eight legs. X on the back of a spider? It sounds a bit better than drawn.

26th
My most loathed of holidays. I literally slept the entire day away

27th
I felt like I did a lot more with Bifrons than I did with Barbatos. The ritual preparation ended at about 9pm. When all was quiet I began the ritual. The smoke from the incense twirled and spun and acted out of the norm. The wine was very good, feel like a lush saying that the heh heh. The ritual made me feel safe, and able to let my guard down, if it was up I don't know consciously. I felt like I was talking to someone who was listening, I felt very happy. I took the paper on which the blood anointed sigil was on and burned it. It went quickly and made no smoke. An idea went into my mind and I dumped the ashed on my table and added a little wine. With my fingers I rubbed it together and covered the sigil, which I dipped into the wine beforehand. All the little things looked great. The on the spot made ink went into all the etched marks and made them stand out. The sigil looks awesome to me, like if I rolled it in ink or did a rubbing it is quality enough to have been used in an old manuscript.

Next Demon is Buer, so no more drinking for me.
Xophier is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2009, 03:27 AM   #5
pAmphAge
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: The Ain Soph
Posts: 50



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Xophier View Post
Goetia Project.

I think this whole thing is amazing. Your detail in your recordings is excellent. I've seen many magicians skimp on their magickal journal, but good records of one's workings are the fastest way to success--over short AND long term. Interesting you don't care for Thelema or Qabalah--one of the reasons I like to teach those is just for the discipline and structure involved. When someone has the magickal Will to stick through something like 72 demons, one's Wand is already healthy enough to experiment as one likes.


Back to your question about opioids and Salvia D. I personally have had Salvia blockage from Xanax--less so for Klonopin. Those are benzos but there's no reason to think opioids can't interfere as well. I assume you can't stay off the opioids for a couple days before doing Salvia? If not, I would just increase the potency of extract you are using--or hold it in longer. What is your usual dosage? I recommend 25x or higher extract if you are having problems. Then you only need to hold it in like 7 seconds for a serious trip.

Sounds like your absinthe method is all you need anyway. Some people only require the slightest assistance in the making the jump to an "altered state of consciousness." (I find the number one block is people just don't trust their impressions.) I rarely use Salvia anymore, though admittedly what I learned on the Salvia from several years ago still affects my relationships with the daemons now.

pAmphAge
pAmphAge is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2009, 04:35 AM   #6
Xophier
 
Status: Initiate
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 56



Wink

I have a history with painkillers from a bad break in 02' and other complications. I hate the way I feel on them and would rather be in pain, it's just the broken bone in my foot gave me both that and transference pain. It's annoying, but healing at the moment and I am only taking them when I am in dire need. I also didn't much care for the feelings of salvia. I more or less had a constant feeling of my legs unable to carry me, for far longer than the twenty some minutes. I have an electrostatic bag with about 1/8th a gram left but, it more so makes my sense muddled more than opens them up. It's over x25, not sure, but it I think it is above x25. I also did inhale it for as long as I could which was about twenty seconds and let it out slowly for another ten.

As with drinking, I just found absinthe and, before that, didn't drink really at all. This stuff though, it's pretty awesome hehehe.

As with Qabalah, I never got what came next. You have basically eleven sephiroths, each with deal with an overinduldgence which slows your procession and a virtue with speeds it up. I understand the working within that to better yourself, but after all that's done... what next?

As with Thelema, I like the idea on paper, and like the idea in conjunction with another ideaology, like Hermetica fits Thelema like a glove. But alone.. ehhhh. I honestly don't "love" the Goetia either. It's more so because I just always skimmed the book for something I liked. I, of course, disregard all the RHP garbage (I am being frank :P) but never really got to know the beings. I love that with bare amount of research how each one comes from another God from an ancient religion. For me that kind of seals lights my brain up when I see a Demon, let's say from Abramelin, reoccur in the Goetia, with a little study, I see that they were some Deity detatched completely from what the books say about them. (I'd say Frabito<sp?> but his demonology is the same as Abramelin, just catalogued)

Have started the day of Buer, meh not really starting anything, it was just a day of research, 29th is the day of creation. Feel free to comment or ask questions
Xophier is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-30-2009, 01:09 AM   #7
pAmphAge
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: The Ain Soph
Posts: 50



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Xophier View Post
I have a history with painkillers from a bad break in 02' and other complications. I hate the way I feel on them and would rather be in pain, it's just the broken bone in my foot gave me both that and transference pain. It's annoying, but healing at the moment and I am only taking them when I am in dire need. I also didn't much care for the feelings of salvia. I more or less had a constant feeling of my legs unable to carry me, for far longer than the twenty some minutes. I have an electrostatic bag with about 1/8th a gram left but, it more so makes my sense muddled more than opens them up. It's over x25, not sure, but it I think it is above x25. I also did inhale it for as long as I could which was about twenty seconds and let it out slowly for another ten.

Doesn't sound like a full Salvia trip though--partial ones sound more like what you are describing--they always give me an uncomfortable feeling instead of a feeling of having gone "through the other side" and come out with relief and gratitude. At that dosage you should have felt the full effects. Either the opiates are causing the problem, which is possible:

"Pharmacologically, salvia is unique in that it is a kappa opiod receptor agonist, distinguishing it from the 5-HT-2 serotonin receptor agonists that comprise most of the common psychedelics, including LSD, mescaline, and psilocybin, and the other so-called 'dissociatives' which are NMDA receptor agonists (such as dextromethorphan, ketamine, and PCP). " -- (erowid)

*or* you have weak Salvia. Have you ever used Salvia from a different source?


Quote:

As with Qabalah, I never got what came next. You have basically eleven sephiroths, each with deal with an overinduldgence which slows your procession and a virtue with speeds it up. I understand the working within that to better yourself, but after all that's done... what next?

Not sure I understand this. Who says they deal with over-indulgence?

The Ten Sephiroth (plus Da'ath if you like to make 11), and the 22 paths are just a way of arranging the entire human body, mind, and psyche into an understandable and usable system. It is not necessarily a "better" system of describing the universe than the tarot, or the I Ching, or even Geomantic figures, but it is flexible and has long been established in magick so astrally the Tree of Life vibrates strongly in our universal subconscious.

The best thing I personally get out of the Tree of Life, besides pathworking and constructing rituals based off it, is having a way to store and later access the huge amount information I read and live every day of my life. By sticking things into their Tree of Life "pigeon holes," I increase not only my ability to recall information, but I understand relationships between all the varied types of stored information as well.

I don't think using the Tree of Life is necessary to being a good Magician, however. A magician may be perfectly happy subdividing his universe into only the four element (plus spirit, perhaps). I just think most magicians, at least sometimes, want a more fine-tuned way of tweaking their subconscious to better assist their true desires.


Quote:
As with Thelema, I like the idea on paper, and like the idea in conjunction with another ideaology, like Hermetica fits Thelema like a glove.

Agreed. Thelema *IS* just an extension of Hermeticism. That's what the Golden Dawn was and Crowley's works are an extension of the Golden Dawn. Hermeticism has always been eclectic, taking the best and most interesting ideas from different--and potentially contradictory--schools of religion, magick, and philosophy.

pAmphAge

Last edited by pAmphAge; 11-30-2009 at 01:17 AM.
pAmphAge is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-30-2009, 02:26 AM   #8
Xophier
 
Status: Initiate
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 56



Default

To answer your question;

I have had salvia a few times from other people. But still, most of them had a reaction those times as well.

With the over induldgence I meant more the other side of the coin of each sephiroth. It's been a while since I looked into it. Being all LHP * que spooky music* things are a tad bit different. I don't believe in things like Qlippoth, good, evil, karma or banishings...

Starting to have some kind of emotional response from this. Barbatos going to Buer is like a roller coaster ride. Buer seems a lot more serious, no nonsense, and I just can't find a way for him to click with me. Spent a night trying to make the clay sigil, but nothing seemed right. I feel an energy within Buer, but it's a bit depressing. I wonder if this will happen more than not.

Last edited by Xophier; 11-30-2009 at 06:22 AM. Reason: typo
Xophier is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2009, 06:32 PM   #9
Izabael DaJinn
 
Izabael DaJinn's Avatar
 
Status: Administrator
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: The Fool's Bottle
Posts: 760



Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Xophier View Post
To answer your question;

I have had salvia a few times from other people. But still, most of them had a reaction those times as well.

With the over induldgence I meant more the other side of the coin of each sephiroth. It's been a while since I looked into it. Being all LHP * que spooky music* things are a tad bit different. I don't believe in things like Qlippoth, good, evil, karma or banishings...

Starting to have some kind of emotional response from this. Barbatos going to Buer is like a roller coaster ride. Buer seems a lot more serious, no nonsense, and I just can't find a way for him to click with me. Spent a night trying to make the clay sigil, but nothing seemed right. I feel an energy within Buer, but it's a bit depressing. I wonder if this will happen more than not.
The depression could be just from the initial "rush" wearing off on a new magickal working. When worked all 30 Aethyrs, there was a slump where I was depressed and didn't want to finish....I felt like it was more due to me than the Aethyrs causing that. Best just to push through.

As far as my experience with Buer, when I first encountered him he sent tons of "familiars" like possums, racoons and odd things like that I could "see" around the room. Later when I did a painting of Buer it was kind of "depressing" working with him through the painting seemed to work out some of the unhealthiness in me, so maybe that's how he works. hummm

xoxo
Iza
Izabael DaJinn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-03-2009, 06:30 AM   #10
Xophier
 
Status: Initiate
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 56



Default Buer

November Twenty-eighth to December second


Buer


Tenth Spirit within the Goetia
Rank, President
Planetary Alignment, Mercury
Incense, Storax
(I used sweetgrass and sugarcane)
Oleum, acacia, vervain, hydrangea root and angelica
(I had no idea what half this was, used water with drop of blood)


28th
This day began as the day of study. Buer is rather complicated as finding a link backwards to a true meaning. It could mean everything from the old city Buer in Germany to a Norse word for a bow or archer, it also can be traced back into a French word which means darkly lit. I liked his sigil, but was most heavy on my mind was what could I used instead of Storax, since that isn't all that applicable in this day and age. He is described as an all in one type of spirit as well. He seems rather scholarly yet having an odd image drawn about of a Lion-headed goat legged star. It's one of the odder images of the drawn Goetia. I was actually quite late in looking Buer up. I was on a high from working with Barbatos, and I didn't want that to end so quickly. I did a meditation to get a feel for him at around 11pm. I felt an overwhelming urge to go to sleep soon after, but I couldn't. Odd pains, most annoying feelings I've felt, like a pinching dry heat covered the bottoms of my feet, the middle of my thigh and my back. It kept me from sleeping, but during that night my usual paranoia was null.


29th
I found myself sleeping the entire day away. I was in a fight to actually get up and about. Feeling drained and achey, I soon realized, I had a bad stomach ache. I couldn't come up with a reason for this happening. At around 6pm, I tried to roll out some clay and make a sigil for him as usual, trying to make a pattern of repetition. Roll and roll and roll as I might the clay refused to work for me. I tried over and over, on and off, until it was around 3am. I was starting to get rather pissed off at Buer... Techinically this kind of flows into the 30th but I was still mentally on the 29th. I couldn't get a feeling for him, I felt annoyed and ill, my back, and bottoms of my feet were annoying the hell out of me, my mind was muddled I was losing track of days and time. And, ironically this is all sober since I saw that Buer has a dislike for alcohol. I could really have used a drink right about then...


30th
As the sleep awoke from my eyes on the 30th, too much past noon for my taste. Canceled doctor appointments, just laid in bed moping around. I just wanted to sleep, I didn't care how long, or why. This depression and the rest of my pains and so forth seemed like it all stemmed from working with Buer and was thusly pissed off. I had a family friend wanting to get me a gift for my birthday on the 18th. I told him to get me Evoking Eternity, as I like E.A. Koettings work. I hope he knows how to do paypal and actually does it as apposed to... forgetting. I couldn't sleep so I made the sigil as best I could and baked it at around 2am. It took a lot longer than the others. Barbatos's sigil still looks the best out of them, but it's enough for Buer. (Kind of re-reading these, I was a bit of a douche)


1st
My body is killing me, took a hot shower and the muscles just tensed up more. Today wasn't a full loss. My laptop had a hiccup deleting a lot of stuff, so I had to re-install Ubuntu and with that I forgot a good deal of passwords. That was the 28th. Today, I was going through some ideas and I remembered all my old passwords and thus changed them to an easier to remember thing. Ironically, I didn't miss much. I have a feeling my usual late night ritual on the fifth day is going to be interrupted so I am setting up for an early one before the break of dawn. I have been recommended to do artistic type things with Buer by a few people. I am going to attempt a form of automatic writing, even though the last few times I had bad results.


2nd
I began the ritual at around 4am. I took my incense sticks (since I still don't know how to work powders) of sugarcane and sweetgrass. It was hard to find those, but being in a high density Latino area has the luck of 50 cent seven day glass candles and incense sticks. I lit them and placed two candles in a three sectioned candle holder. It looked a lot like a gateway, so I decided to put the smoke at a lower point within the middle. Taking the paper and pencil I scryed the smoke and asked questions doodling what I saw. I didn't feel like I got a response til I looked at what I wrote. My first question was “Are you the reason I've been feeling so depressed” I literally didn't feel my hand move on that question but below was a quite clear NO. The next lines gave me nothing. At this point I just started drawing the smoke without looking at my pencil marks. I looked down and was a bit shocked. I drew characters from a cryptic set of letters I used about five months ago for a ritual to conquer my fears. Oddly enough, I had no paranoia during these five days, and that is what the ritual was aimed for. I totally lost the key to that but I remember a few odder letters which you can't really make without trying. Within that was a sketch of a silhouette. My first look at it, was of a cartoonish frog, but I don't know. I thanked him and ended the ritual and slept. Upon awaking, I still felt shitty, but to my surprise, it appears there was and still IS a quite loud party going on next door. If my neighbor wasn't a cop I'd call the police...


I woke up from a nap and it was 1:27am, I quickly found a bottle of Pennsylvania Dutch Eggnog and have been enjoying the hell out of that. Thanks Buer, sorry for being such an ass... but that's humans for you. Oh man, this still really is good. Onwards and upwards to Vassago!
Xophier is offline   Reply With Quote

Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All times are GMT. The time now is 04:31 PM.